Self realization over the weekend. 

The city we live in has a subsidy program for daycare. We theoretically qualify for and are going through the application process.  This would be for W to help with his social skills as well as to help prepare him for school next year. 

We are looking specifically at preschool programs. 

On Saturday one of the daycare/preschool’s were having an open house. So we went to it. 

We were there for a while while W was exploring and enjoying the fasciitis I was talking with the supervisor about their programs, teachers and specifically W and his needs and struggles. 

While speaking with the supervisor I realized I wasn’t making eye contact so then I intentionally made eye contact but then I felt like I was making to much eye contact. I never really realized until this past weekend how intimate eye contact is and it feels so awkward and uncomfortable when done with a stranger. It would be like walking up to a random person on the street and giving them a kiss! You would never do that and yet this intense form of intimacy is demanded of us on a daily basis. 

Perhaps it doesn’t feel that way to others but it does to me. 

The more I learn about W and autism the more I realized that I likely am autistic as well and the more I learn about myself.

Funny thing is W actually isn’t too bad at making eye contact while talking. 

Published by: tigkita

I've been through a lot in my life and I've realized that sharing my story helps me to deal with things. ~ so I have started this partially to help myself deal with the various emotions as they arise but also to help others who may be going through the same thing. This is our story of living with autism. this story actually started before W was diagnosed.

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